Morning, beautiful kiddies! The Queen has just learned that hot starlet Lindsay Lohan has secretly set up an out-of-the-way place where she and superhunk Tom Hanks (Forrest Gump himself! sigh...) can have afternoon trysts. Apparently, La Lohan and Mr. Playtone met while volunteering for a save-the-otters benefit in Seattle, and they've been inseparable ever since. Adding to the bizarro factor, Rita Wilson (Mrs. Hanks, or so she claims) has apparently given the union her thumbs-up, even filming the various gruntings and groanings. Could it be? Has Joe finally met his volcano? The Queen wants to know!